Tell Them Before, Not After

The piece a beneficiary cares most about is frequently worth the least. A modest ring somebody wore every day carries more weight in a family than a valuable piece nobody remembers, and an executor who sells on value alone can cause real damage without realizing it.

The requests are also usually modest. People ask for the watch their father wore, or a ring they remember, not for the most valuable item in the estate. Circulating photographs before value is discussed keeps it that way, because the conversation stays about memory rather than about money.

Deal with the pieces people have asked for first and outside the valuation, then treat what remains as the estate's asset to realize. Mixing the two turns a straightforward distribution into a negotiation.

Where two people want the same item, that is a conversation for the family and the personal representative rather than something to be resolved by selling it. Selling a contested item rarely settles anything.

1. 01Give you time — we will hold an appointment while you consult.
2. 02Provide photographs and an itemized list you can circulate.
3. 03Never pressure a decision made on behalf of other people.
4. 04Wait, if the family needs longer.

Circulate photographs and ask people what they want before anybody discusses value. The requests are almost always about sentiment rather than worth, and they are far easier to accommodate before a sale than to explain after one.

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